So. Long time no see. Please, you guys didn't MISS me, did you? Who am I kidding, of course you did. :)
Anyway. So. Gee, Dante, what's happened to you recently? Well. I'll tell you.
1. Alastor has an addiction to the glue that's on the back of stamps.
2. Six fried the coffee maker.
3. Walmart is fucking SCARY.
4. Uh. Stuff.
5. There is no five.
And that's about it. Shit's awful quiet, huh?
There's something completely theraputic and relaxing about killing your asshole of a brother repeatedly in as many ways as InSIMinator will allow in effigy. Really. I think everyone should do it. It's a pity I didn't get screenshots.
In other news, the thought of Red running the city kind of scares me.
I...
Vergil wants me to go to Burger King with him. Does anyone other than me think this is STRANGE?
I'm...Kinda...>> << >>
Yeah.
HE'S CREEPING ME OUT YOU GUYS.
I SHOULD STAY HOME Y/Y/MFY
The dramatic panic is cute. Keep it up. I need something to keep me from dying of boredom here.
My old man's a dick.
Edit: On second thought, I feel like barhopping. In Tayon. AHEH.
Hey, babydoll~ Care to join me?
Oh, Germany. :')
Man Decapitates Himself With Chainsaw.
I'm impressed. That'd take some motherfucking skills, son. For serious.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I read Fark, and wtf_inc. Because it is all about the lulz.
I should be out working on seeing how trashed I can get. Eh. I really, really don't want to propose to a mop again, though. That'd be bad.
Also, I believe the newbies are still more retarded than anything that ever came out of the university. I sure as hell hope I wasn't that goddamn clueless when I showed up. Or that pathetic. Or that WEAK. God, you people whine about every-goddamn-thing. Go cut yourself to Linkin Park and leave that shit off the network.
( Private / Hackable )
EDIT: AND VERGIL IS A GODDAMN LIAR. There is no way in hell anybody's getting us mixed up.
EDIT II: I just looked over the network again. THERE IS SO MUCH FAIL HERE.
EDIT III: Crisis averted. Some chick with a REALLY nice set of tits totally just flashed me.
LEEEEEROY JENKINS.
Those of you who were in DU. Check your emails. I left you a surprise.
(ooc; Dante took a picture of Vergil in his paper towel and shoestring, makeshift dustmask. If you were in DU, you received a copy of it, for fun and profit.)
Oh God.
They let more and more retards into this city every time you turn around. Srsly. I mean, guys. I'm sure those of us there for the disaster that was DU can kindly agree that, no. No, standards were higher then, and MOST of the retards were kept out. Unfortunately, a few bad apples slipped through, like Ed, and that palm tree wannabe melee instructor, but for the most part, we were all intelligent.
Right? RIGHT? Anybody?
Anyway, Mum. In a few days, swing by. I have something for you. Vergil, stop being retarded. Lady...Uh...I was going to say something smartassed here, but I'd rather NOT get kicked in the crotch, thanks.
Everybody else...GTFO my internets and stay that way.
And for old times' sake, here. ( Have a macro. Or seven. )
Every time a string of good luck comes along, I know shit's about to go to hell.
Goddamn, I was right again.Time to hit the books. I need some fucking coffee. And a cigarette. And...And...Pizza.
dlfaksj;f GODDAMN COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER.
SERIOUSLY.
Oh, well. I tried to stop the master, and then he demanded coffee. Again. One would think his tiny little heart would explode from all that he consumes.
Really, I do believe I might have picked the wrong twin to pitch a hissyfit at. In more capable hands...Well. He will grow. He will grow, and he will learn, and that is all that matters. In time, I do believe I can see the fighter he was meant to be, rather than the slipshod excuse for one he is now.
No couth! None. And he lives like a pig. I hope he doesn't expect me to spend the rest of our...Partnership cleaning up after him. Because, as he will find out soon enough, that will not be the case.
Regardless...'Tis a true pity about the university. I find myself missing my old job already, though I have found other ways to amuse myself. The city is a wealth of information, if one knows were to look. And then, I still have to meet this charming mate of Sparda's...To think he hardly thought to tell me he was married. A shock, really. But then, I have known him a long time.
Oh, look at the time. And I have things to be doing, and yet here I am, prattling away on the internet to naught an ear or watchful eye. And the cats, it would seem, require nourishment.
Sigh.
i wish peopole would stosp talkeding about kittens and come takse some off my hadns. :/
edit;FREE KITTENS
for thes love fo god please.
all gone go to hell.
Vergil totally owes me for this shit. Like...Like...I don't know, but something BIG. Because this is going to suck like a motherfucker.
LET ME TELL YOU INTERNET
Fuck. I'm outta coffee, too. ALASTOR. I know your ass is lurking around. COFFEE, CHOP CHOP.
( Private / Hackable )
OKAY. So. UH. I think we can all agree that sucked A LOT, in retrospect.
But, uh. I'm guessing it all worked out for the better. Or not really; one shitty roommate traded for ANOTHER shitty roommate, and I can't GET RID of this one. Fucking A. I mean. What. No, seriously, what? WHY? Why do I get stuck with his purple ass? All I wanted? Was a place for me and the kitties. Seriously! That was it! But he had to tag along.
...I blame my old man.
I'm thinking most would totally take this as a sign to GO HOME. BUT NOT ME. Of course not. Because of...Stuff. Yes, stuff.
RED. Speak up. I need to talk to you about something.
I need to find out where I can get my hands on some easy silver.
[ooc; Because he freakin' insisted.]